Monday, December 17, 2007

About Those Candidates

It truly is a tale of trials and tribulations for each party as they seek the Holy Grail that will lead them out of the wilderness.

Over in Oz, the Wicked Witch of the White House and her flying attack monkey minions are battling furiously to prevent her meltdown in Iowa and New Hampshire. While Obama the Scarecrow keeps trying to hide the straw he is made of with clever talk least anyone besides the Witch pluck all his straw out. Then we have the Lion who is always primping in front of a mirror to make sure every hair in his mane is in place, poor John his wife is tougher than he is. And waiting in the wings in case the others fail in defeating the Witch stands the Tinman with his Oscar in one hand and the Nobel in the other, hoping his lack of heart will be ignored by the voters of Munchkinville this time so he can finally travel the yellow brick road to 1600 Pennsylvania. As to where Dorothy is, no one truly knows since an evil thrall has be-spelled the party faithful and she caught the last train to the coast.

Whilst in another world full of bravery and knavery, others struggle mightily to measure up against that paragon called Ronald Reagan. Alas the King is dead and the rightful claimant to Camelot has not shown themselves. Instead we hear from Huck the Kindly Smurf who wants to have tea with our enemies so they like us. Ron Paul the Hermit is another hopeful who desires that the United States retreat behind its ocean barriers and let the rest of the world implode, ignoring such history lessons as Pearl Harbor and 9/11. Of course we also have John McCain the Maniacal who seeks to silence critics with curbs on free speech while leaving wide open the borders of the United States.

It seems both parties got a lot of sorting out to do. Some would argue for a culling I bet.

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