Wednesday, January 04, 2006

The neko that conquered America

This thought sprung to mind today while shopping for food at that dreaded paragon of capitalism run amok, better known as Wal-Mart.

I was going through the breakfast food aisles and looking at Pop-tarts. Nestled amidst the brown-sugar covered Pop-tarts was a new bright pink box. Adorning this eye-watering cardboard box was that icon of Japanese kawaiiness Hello Kitty and she was peddling for Pop-tart and Sanrio's bottom lines Meow-berry flavored pop-tarts. Yes the cute round headed cat with a bow on one ear and no mouth shilling that American breakfast staple for those on the go, the pop-tart.

Sanrio could not leave it alone. Not only overwhelming schoolyards with Hello Kitty pencils and notebooks, not to mention backpacks and knick-nacks. Now it is pop-tarts. Don't like your pop-tarts cold and want to microwave it? Have no fear, Sanrio markets a Hello Kitty microwave. Don't forget to drink your milk in Hello Kitty cups. And when nature calls, there is always the Hello Kitty toilet for the wee tykes to use. Want to email your best friends on your latest Hello Kitty find? There is a Hello Kitty laptop all in pink for you, high-speed Internet seperate. Or have you become stressed out since you can not find something new in the vast Hello Kitty merchandise line-up? Well then use your Hello Kitty personal massager in pink which has on one end a cute little Hello Kitty figure hugging a teddy-bear, totemo kawaii ne?

What is next on Sanrio's quest to broaden its market base? Perhaps a superstore called Hello Kitty Mart? Then I think the end times would be upon us as one of the horsemen of the Apocolypse would instead be uber-kawaii Hello Kitty, followed by Badtz Maru in black cloak and Kerropi in a green cloak; all astride chibi horses. And who would be the fourth horseman? Why Hello Kitty's sister, Hello Mimi.

"It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine."

Update 2300 January 5, 2006. Just discovered how far Hello Kitty has penetrated US culture. Hello Kitty has been spotted playing SOCOM online. I can just imagine a kill message, "You were fragged by Hello_Kitty."


shingles said...

There's a Hello Kitty personal massager?

Oh, so many possible jokes, so little time...

Anna said...

Most call it a vibrator anyway and has been featured in at least one adult stand up routine called Hello Sexy Kitty IIRC. Just Sanrio insists on calling it a personal massager.

Shiin said...

"Perhaps a superstore called Hello Kitty Mart?"

It's called the Sanrio Store. ;)

Anna said...

Ne Shiin, how about a Super Sanrio Store then? Kowai.