Some Christmas Music

First Annie Lennox sings God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman in her own style.



Then Pat Benatar with her song Christmas in America.

Black Friday 2011

Since this is Black Friday when screaming hoards of bargain shoppers have besieged major retailers since the wee hours of the morning, I decided to be a bit green and lessen the traffic gridlock while tackling the very smelly issue of Occupiers and their bodily wastes. So now on CafePress at the Sufa Shop is the above bumper sticker. Can buy 1, 10, or even 50 of them. And can even order them with a clear background, which will be better for the rear window of a protestor's SmartCar or Volt. {the previous sentence is defined as humor, please be responsible with the bumper stickers.} Just buy one please. Thank you.

New Blog Link

I have added another blog link on the sidebar. I just started reading Keads' blog Another Day but so far it looks pretty neat. Check him out yourself.

Bing B-52s

This popped up on Bing today. Its cool and its sad, but one reason why Bing rocks while Google just stinks. Bing will actually show cool stuff.

A New Word?

I would possibly claim it as a new word. But it seems to be a high value fashion den in the UK - Liberatti. Instead I will borrow the word and create a new definition for it.

What is a Liberatti? It is someone who was born with a trust fund silver spoon in their mouth it seems. They get up and bemoan how horrible people have it and the government must do something with all of our money while hiding their own assets. They roar loudly and wave their arms frantically whilst in high dungeon over their pet causes. But if they are forced to really put some of their own personal skin in the game, they turn tail and try to claim everyone who was outraged did not understand their intelligence. In other words a Liberatti is a phony.

New CafePress Items

Have added a new section to the shop. Going to adapt pictures I took last year on Oahu into products. So enjoy and perhaps order. Thanks.

Emails I Get

This would be a very tempting thing to do. Take a tour of Israel. This company is offering $100 off such a trip. Something to ponder. Thought I would share it in case one of my readers might be thinking of taking such a trip.

VE Day

May 8th, 1945 marked the official end of hostilities in Europe. General Jodl of the German Army surrendered the sundered prostrate shattered remains of the Thousand Year Reich that lasted twelve years and killed millions to the victorious Allies.

May 8th, 2011 marks Mother's Day. While we show appreciation for our mothers this Sunday, take a moment to think of the Gold Star Mothers. They have lost a child defending this great nation, from WWI to present day.

No Thank You Google

I just logged into Blogger and Google asked me to enter my phone number. I declined. Google has been stealing peoples information via wireless. Google is in a legal fight with authors and publishing companies over Google's digitizing 'orphan' books and making money off it. So I see no real reason to give Google anymore information than I absolutely need to. For a company that purports to do no evil, some of their actions are awfully smelly.

Symbolic Saturday

Christ in the tomb, descending into the Underworld to defeat Death, and the ultimate triumph will be on the 'morrow when He does rise.

And what do I find in the library this morning? Slithering out and down from the Venetian blinds over a closed window.

The same snake I evicted back on Tuesday. Laying atop a bookcase, tongue flicking out, and looking at me.

So once again I armored myself with gloves, grasped the snake just behind the head, opened the door, and cast him out of the house.

I am beginning to think I should shout, "I abjur thee from ever entering these premises again. Begone from my sight!" To prevent a repeat and causing the above exclamation, am prowling the house looking for possible ingress routes.

Major Freakout

Undocumented house guest.

I went to put a glass in the kitchen sink. I caught motion out of the corner of my left eye and I saw the above snake slithering along where counter-top met wall and moving towards the sink and me. Super panic attack. I hurriedly got away and put on sneakers, work gloves, and a long stick before I went to look again. Also grabbed a can of wasp spray, nerve agent is my WMD of choice in these situations. Sprayed the joker and it recoiled. Then it vanished behind the microwave. And I could not find it anywhere on the counter. Peered in drawers and shelves, nope. Can we say nervous? I was and I kept looking. Idea of trying to get some sleep with a snake in the house was so not happening. Eventually I heard thumping and looked under the microwave, there it was - twitching and trying to get out. When I levered the microwave up using the scabbard from a Mauser bayonet, it came out with mouth agape. Could not see fangs but I was not taking chances. It also started to act torpid and confused, I guess I did get it with the bug spray. I grabbed a mason jar and removed its top. Then I grabbed the snake just behind the head and put it in the jar tail first - remember I am wearing thick work gloves. Finally stuffed the head in jar and slapped the top back on. Then took the jar outside, unscrewed the lid, and turned the jar upside down to make the snake fall out. Then I took the above picture. The white pipe in the background is a pre-cut two foot section of PVC pipe, to give some scale.

Way too much fun for this late at night. Oi. Thud.

Shipping Extra

They say the devil is in the details. And also to read the fine print. Check out the shipping costs. And someone has bid on this item. Fool, money, soon parted I would say.

Writing Contest from Random House

Well this is a keen challenge. Random House/Del Rey has a contest going for unpublished manuscripts that fit their marketing niche aimed at adults and older teens. Subject wise it seems pretty open, science-fiction, horror, paranormal, and such. Its is limited to legal residents of the United States, excluding Puerto Rico, and who are 18 years or older. Maximum length of the story is 150,000 words. Winner gets a professional edit by Betsy Mitchell and possible publication by Del Rey. All the rules and such can be found here at Suvudu.

People in the comments are hung up on a few things. One is self-published via Amazon for example, literal reading of the rules makes that an ineligible submission. Another is a person asking if they can submit a runner up from another contest, that is a tough one. In both of these cases, as an author I would not submit the stories; I would submit something that literally complies with the contest rules. Why feed the lawyers right? Now a couple people think their stories can't be submitted because they exceed the 150,000 word limit. There are a couple options available if these writers have courage and are willing to make modifications. If they are not willing to make self-corrections then they probably will not emotionally survive a professional edit. Yes we authors love our characters, neat plots, and wonderful prose; but sometimes a pruning is in order to make the story better. More is not always better in writing, unless you want your story be to used in sleep studies. In Elizabeth Moon's Deed of Paksenarrion, she had to edit out chunks of that saga to get down to what we read as three books. And judging by the books' success, it worked very well with hardly any scars lurking in the published books - save a reference to a blue dress Suliya wore in the third book Oath of Gold. Moon's trilogy also points to the other option available to these writers, find a point earlier in the book where things can be wrapped up nicely - but naturally not ended - with some editing and submit that as the manuscript. Then on the rump, get cracking on reworking that. So when Del Rey/Random House does like the story, makes it their grand prize winner, and decides to publish; why you already have the start on the sequel.

Downside of this keen challenge? It started in January and ends on March 18th, 2011. So I better get cracking and see if I can conjure a literary rabbit out of my hat. The game is very much afoot. Realistically to hit even 50,000 words, after self-checking, would be a Holy Grail event. But at the same time, it is motivational to get me off center and moving forward.

So You Want to be an Author?

I have had delusions of possessing some writing skills as some of my posts in the past have proven. Presently I am roughing out some fiction that is about 5,000 words in length and I now have ideas of how to push it probably past 10,000. Its usually not the traditional way of writing, but I am writing each as a short story that ties back to the previous. So in other words it could be argued I am writing each chapter of a longer story while tricking myself. Perhaps. But I seem to have a mental hangup when it comes to longer pieces.

So one of the things aspiring writers do is look around. Do we try to crash the barricades of the big publishers like Random House or Baen? Or self-publish? Or perhaps go to one of the Print on Demand[POD] places. Just mentioning POD brings back images of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, of your entire being stolen away and replaced by a worker drone. Another name for POD publishers is vanity publishers. The authors at such places tend to get jacked around and bank account lightened to prove to their small circle of friends that they are a published author. And when you go to places like Amazon to find the book, the title is listed as Amazon's #6,431,909th best seller.

Then there is a truly special publisher called Publish America. If you look for their titles on Amazon, generic cover art will be displayed for paperbacks that list for hardcover prices. They claim they are not a POD or vanity publisher but it seems they are. As for their prowess in editing and formatting, it seems not so great as some of their authors claim Publish America added typos to their works. A collection of science-fiction authors decided to take umbrage at Publish America's condescension towards the science-fiction genre in 2005 by writing one of the worst novels ever hatched called Atlanta Nights with horrible formatting, missing chapters, duplicated chapter numbers, and horrible prose; amazingly Publish America took it all in and was ready to print it. Then when they learned of the hoax, all deals were off and it seems Publish America got real pissy over it. For a rundown of why many authors think Publish America is bad, try this forum.

So to avoid the pitfalls of being sucked into a scam, talk to a real author. Ask them what you need to do to get published by a publishing company. While never forgetting to practice your craft.

Post Ludi - I wonder, got this 40,000 word anime fan-fic. Publish America. Should I just to see if they green light it? Nah, I will stay good.

Motivational Poster

Ok, here is a tweaked version. The editorial review process, Kirly, caught a major faux pas on my part when I used a line from that Scottish play in lieu of the actual paraphrased quote. Of course I must thank profusely Birkenstock Cowboy for supplying the awesome capture from DVD. Thanks guys!

Supermarket Sushi...

.
It will inspire you,
To create your own.

Low Budget Surviving

Glenn Reynolds has done many casual survivalists a favor with a couple articles. Here is the first and here is the second. Both of these are aimed at pulling through a blizzard or a storm outage, not end of the world type disaster. Think low budget. But they do offer a good starting point if you want to go beyond. Read them, do your research, and then decide.

Something not mentioned are the wind up flashlights that have become available with LED bulbs. Some even have a radio built in. This one will even charge a cell-phone. This liberates you from being dependant upon a generator or batteries to keep you in light and information. In case your merit badge earned fire starting skills have escaped you, try this little gem. And a word of advice FEMA recommends keeping three to five days worth of food, water, and other supplies on hand. Pad your reserves out at least two more days in case things stay bad longer than predicted so you do not have to brave the weather and other desperate people to get supplies.

This concludes today's impromtu PSA. And don't forget to check out the Survival blog link for a lot more information.

Geek Humour?

Amusing[?] error message I got trying to fix my network this morning. Reboot nor resets fixed things. Even turning off the DSL modem failed to fix it. What finally fixed it? Well turned off the DSL modem and unplugged its power, waited a minute, plugged power in, and turned modem back on. Wow. As for www.microsoft.com being well known, well... lol

Ode to the Black Friday Warrior

Oh she revels in all the anticipation. She has been in her spot since last Thursday. There behind her in the shrubs the store pays landscapers to weed, water, and trim is her pup tent; the grass is now looking decidedly brown. What is a cold snap to her that caused her less prepared competitors to be hauled off for frost-bite or malnutrition? Nothing at all, she is giddy when each is carted off because that is one less person after her precious quest. For she is at her Mecca, her Valentino lover beckons as she stands at her temple’s doorway in exultation. Clutched in her warm mitten clad hands are her offerings to the mercantile deities, her credit cards that are lovingly arranged in alphabetical order in the faux calf-skin organizer she had to fight off three other women to acquire a previous year. She will not be denied her chance at sales glory even as her husband works two jobs and her children have learned once again that Mommy is a bit special this time of year. So what if her dear husband and kids spent Thanksgiving at McDonalds and brought her a Happy Meal, she has a higher calling. At precisely one minute after midnight all will be revealed to this devoted disciple to wanton consumerism.

Then the Red Sea is parted as the doors are unlocked and the workers run for cover behind the sandbag barricade. Department workers stand ready while wearing catcher gear, wondering if it will be Bobby in Toys or Sue in Electronics that will be hauled off to a hospital. They all kiss their employee badges as a sign of fervent prayer that it will not be them this year buried as they hear the thundering roar of so many feet in heels clatter their way. And then workers are face to face with that which fills them with such dread even, the untamed and wild female bargain shopper herd that the store’s own advertisements have lured to this commercial watering hole. Like the scent of fresh water entices animals to abandon all caution in the Sahara they come. The workers tremble in fear.

And the next second it has happened. Our happy warrior of conspicuous consumption has found her watering hole. She elbows and gouges other women as they all stampede over the poor workers to reach their individual holy grails that are held within. Her Timmy will not be denied that Zurg blaster from Toy Story 3, oh no! After a vicious battle that leaves two women bleeding on the floor with torn jackets, she is off to her next quest. She has to secure Sally a Tinker Bell doll. This results in an unfortunate worker being body-slammed into the Elmo display, but victory again is the result. She does a happy dance on the body of another shopper who lost in the struggle and has to settle for a Tinker Bell without wings. Ah the sweet ambrosia of victory our shopper exults.

Let us end this happy story here. Fade to black as she relives her track&field days by jumping human hurdles to make it over to Electronics and Starcraft 2 for her dear husband. Oh what a loving wife our heroine is.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. May it be joyous, safe, and spent with family. For those overseas, rest assured you are not forgotten. Come home safe and with honour.