Friday, October 27, 2006

Frightfully Entertaining

Was shopping in Wal-Mart this evening when I spied a whole slew of horror movie DVDs placed up front for everyone to see and maybe buy. It was titled Frightfully Entertaining the display. One of the titles being marketed was Barbarella, yeah that was a frightfully bad movie.

Naturally associations started to percolate. Like a new movie called Capitol Anxiety.

House Speaker Charlotte Diesel will be played by Nancy Pelosi.
DNC Chairman Charles Montague will be played by Howard Dean.
President Thorndyke by George W. Bush.
Presidential Political Advisor Brophy by Karl Rove.

Speaker Diesel drawls in a deadly monotone, "This meeting of the Democratic Caucus will now open. Those who arrive late will not receive a Chairmanship." She idly flicks under the table a small whip.
At the opposite end of the table DNC Chairman Monotague feels himself swooning as he lets out a trademark 'Yaarrgghhh!' He knows Diesel is playing with a whip and it excites him so much.
Diesel does not miss a beat as she ingores Montagues scream and gazes at those stalwarts who have attended. "Thank you Rep. Rangel and Rep. Hastings. You will receive those Chairmanships." There is no mention of Rep. Jefferson though his cool cash is sorely missed.
Both men merely nod while in their minds visions of exposing President Thorndyke's nefarious plans play out in techni-color and careful media leaks.
Diesel breaks into their thoughts with her agenda, "Now that the gavel has been passed into the hands of America's children by our victory lets set about repealing all the tax cuts and up the Capitol Gains Tax to 50%. We will have social justice, universal health care, tele-tubbies 24/7, and equality on my watch!" As she exlaims this at the top of her cadevrous voice, the whip emerges to smack her other hand smartly and Montague 'Yaarrgggghhs!' again. Somehwere near Arlington, horses are heard to whinnie in fright.

Far up at 1600 Pennesylvania Ave we find President Thorndyke huddled with his trusted advisor Brophy in the Oval Office.
"Brophy, what is Diesel and Montague up to over on Capitol Hill?"
"Don't worry boss, no matter what kind of plot they have. They won't tree you in the bell tower ever again."
Thorndyke looks at Brophy dead in the eye, "I certainly hope not! New York Times had such a field day with that I fear it will replace President Carter being attacked by that rabbit in Washington lore."
Brophy winces at the comparison but is unbowed. "That can never happen sir! Why if that rabbit attacked you I am sure you would kill it, skin it, and serve it at the next White House dinner."
Thorndyke gives a whistful smile at the image then it widens because everyone at PETA would keel over in apolexy at the incident. "Brophy! You are a genius! Let's do that!"

Fade to black as Act I ends.

The whole movie will be coming soon to Washington DC if the Democrats win. Lets make sure this movie never gets made. Go out and vote!


Anna said...

When you come back with a post, it's a doozy! Great job, Anna...and frightening! :)

Anna said...

What's scary is I just started to think about Mel Brooks and High Anxiety when in my mind I could just 'hear' Pelosi start to talk about fruitcups. She is Nurse Diesel. The rest just fell into place after that.

Mike's America said...

Scary thought indeed. And now that you mention High Anxiety, you remind me of another Chloris Leachman classic: Frau Blucher.

Just say the name and listen for horses winnying in terror.

Say "Nancy Pelosi" out loud and achieve a similar result.

Anna said...

Yes, lets not let Pelosi let her inner Nurse Diesel out by electing a Democratic controlled House.

And I can imagine Howrad Dean when the totals come in showing yet another loss donning vampire fangs, frothing at the mouth, and screaming.